99 Problems But a Hat Aint One...
If you are married with children you know that there are a million and one hats that you wear! If you are a mother you probably wear the primary care physician hat for everyone - including the husband - in the home. You wipe noses administer band-aids, for cuts and bruises, prescribe and in most cases do everything short of taking the medicine yourself, for coughs, sneezes and minor colds. All of that while still keeping the house clean - another hat altogether.
If you are a father, you probably wear the ATM hat, you know, where you dispense money to everyone in the family for everything from teenage trips to the mall for your daughter, to the hottest pair of kicks out for your son, to fees for basketball, football, lacrosse, ballet, soccer, piano lessons, karate lessons, dance, and other "out of pocket" expenses for all the injuries that come associated with the fore mentioned . And you do it all with a smile, why? Because you just loooove your kids.
I really am being facetious, but the point I am trying to make is that when you are an adult especially when married with kids, there are a number of hats that you have to wear so much so that you forget to wear your husband and wife hat. We are so wrapped up in our son needs this, or our daughter needs that that, so much that we fail to take the time to say my wife needs this, or my husband needs that. The funny thing is that we didn't intentionally set out to forget about our spouse's needs in connection with the rest of the family needs, it just kinda happens that way. I always make it my duty to have an "order of operations" in place, and even then sometimes the urgency of situations demand our immediate attention. I guess what I am saying is that there is a difference between default and design. A lot of the time we didn't intend for the urgency of situations, of our kids, our jobs, of other family members and sometimes even of friends to take precedence over our spouse but then again thats what happens when you are not intentional and deliberate, in other words building your relationship by default.
We wear so many hats for so many different things, we give life and attention to so many things and we sometimes think that because our spouse said "I Do" that we can kinda take care of everything else and leave them for last! That is one of the biggest misconceptions and indeed counterproductive to a successful marriage, which is what we all want, right? Marriage is indeed a living thing and if it is not fed and nurtured, IT. WILL. DIE! As much as you wear all the other hats for all the things that you do, remember the most important hat that you wear is your wife or husband hat. Be intentional about wearing that hat and more so than any other hat you wear. I don't believe in divorce but I do believe that everyone has a breaking point and more importantly you may have "99 problems" but you don't want divorce to be one of them because you weren't intentional and deliberate about wearing your spouse hat!