HUSBAND AND FATHER - The Transition of Quest
As I write this I am currently on a flight back home from Miami where we conducted our "Thank God I'm Married - I Do Now What Do I Do Marriage Conference" and as I am on this flight I am not reading any book, I am not listening to any commentary or any podcasts, I am not listening to any music but I am reflecting. The fact that today is my 44th birthday may be the catalyst behind my current trend of thought. Whatever the reason, it's interesting. This morning my sister in law Ursula, called me to wish me a Happy Birthday and as we were talking I jokingly made reference to the fact that last year and in previous years, in attempts to put off that, "getting old" thing, I would just switch the numbers of my year around to appease my mind in the thought of doing just that, getting older! So in essence - just last year - I turned 43 but was saying jokingly that I was 34. We really started cracking up though when I said this year no matter how I switch the numbers, 44 is still 44.
However, this years birthday is significant in the sense that for the rest of the decade, I can no longer "switch the numbers"... Next year upon becoming 45 I won't be saying I am 54!(chuckling). I say that to say that sometimes in our lives and in our marriages, we intentionally try to put off getting older, we intentionally put off getting cut, we intentionally put off leaving that bad relationship or job, we intentionally put off getting better, why? because complacency is such a comfortable place, not to mention that getting better is synonymous with growth and growth is the result of pain, discomfort, and challenges. However, how many of us know that you repeat what you don't repair or sometimes change. Herein lies the double edged sword. Growth is going to touch you one way or another, and you do have a decision to make. You can either grow by design or grow by default, you can sit on the sidelines in your little comfort zone and allow life to happen to you or you can happen to life. You can remain in the place that you are and let your job, career, friendships, marriage, etc. happen by default or you can invest in those same challenges, difficulties, and pain to get the ultimate results in terms of growth. Remember that those who invest the most get the most return on their investment. I am overwhelmed by what I am sharing with you and I don't curse not because at times I don't want to when going thru changes, but more so because I would like to think that I am a man of God and not to mention I don't want to do it in front of NICOMONSTER the "human tape recorder", who records all the wrong things...uh brother! But in the words of Jay Z , this might be some of the realist "ish" I eva wrote.
I am now asking myself at age 44, "Who are you as a person and what have you accomplished over the last 44 years of your life?" Sobering thought, huh? I believe that God is saying to me in this season that the days of putting things off - period - are over. This birthday has been sort of a transitionary birthday if you will. I am now reflecting and looking at my life and saying "why do you have breathe in your lungs? What lives have you touched? What purpose do you serve? and more importantly are you serving God in accordance to HIS will for your life?" Now, I must admit, I have not always made the best of decisions but I Thank God for allowing me - just like the prodigal son - to "come to myself" if you will and redeem some of the time that I wasted. So I press forward on the sunset side and as I learn a little bit deeper what it means when the word says "...to number our days so we can apply our hearts to wisdom", I will spend my time loving my wife a little bit more the way that SHE wants to be loved and not the way I want to communicate it to her, continuing to pour into the life of my Zoey aka Zosaphine aka Zo'diggity and what a lovely young lady she is growing up to be, being a little bit more understanding of my NICOMONSTER because he has a spirit that I did not give him and as "spirited" as he can be at times, I do recognize that he is a heritage of the Lord ditto for MASON THE WARRIOR...uh brother! But as it relates to extended family and friends I will love a lil more try to find ways to fellowship more try to meet needs more try to check in more always look to speak life more and over all see these MARRIAGES WIN!!!
My question to you if you are reading this is:
Are you getting ready for your moment of truth\transition? Are you transioning? Have you already transitioned?
Do you Value Growth? AND do you value it enough to go through the change, difficulty, challenge, and possible pain in order to achieve it?
One thing I have learned, that has been battle tested tried and true, the other side of growth is much sweeter than the side you are currently on.